The Long Road: Navigating Grief

Grief is a deeply personal and evolving journey, one that often begins in uncharted territory and continues to shift across time, contexts, and life stages. When loss enters our lives, it can unsettle our sense of identity, safety, and meaning, leaving us feeling disoriented or adrift. Rather than something to resolve or move past, grief is an experience we learn to navigate and carry with us in new ways.

Within the Transcending Model of Grief and Loss, healing is not defined by closure, but by your growing capacity to respond to grief with flexibility, awareness, and self-compassion. By cultivating psychological flexibility, we can learn to move between grief spaces with greater steadiness, honoring pain when it arises while also remaining open to moments of connection, purpose, and growth. Together, we will explore how flexible coping can support you as you navigate your unique grief landscape and continue to live in meaningful alignment with who you are becoming.

Navigating Grief

Grief doesn’t follow a straight path. It ebbs and flows, sometimes catching us off guard. Navigating grief requires you to adapt to these changes rather than resist them. This means being open to experiencing your emotions fully, while also finding ways to care for yourself.

For example, some days you might feel the need to cry and reflect quietly. Other days, you might seek connection with friends or engage in activities that bring you comfort. Both responses are valid and important. It is important to honor what you need in the moment without judgment.

Here are some practical ways to practice flexible coping:

• Mindful breathing: When emotions feel intense, pause and take slow, deep breaths. This helps ground you in the present.

• Journaling: Write down your thoughts and feelings without censoring yourself. This can clarify what you’re experiencing.

• Physical movement: Gentle walks, stretching, or yoga can release tension and improve mood.

• Seeking support: Reach out to trusted friends, family, or professionals when you need to share your burden.

  
  

By weaving these methods into your daily life, you create a toolkit that adjusts to your evolving needs.

A calm lakeside scene symbolizing peace and reflection

What is an example of psychological flexibility?

Psychological flexibility is the ability to stay present and open to your experiences, even when they are painful, while still taking actions that align with your values. Imagine you are feeling a wave of sadness after remembering a loved one. Instead of pushing the sadness away or getting stuck in it, you acknowledge it gently. You might say to yourself, "I am feeling this sadness, and that’s okay. I can sit with it for a moment, then choose to do something that honors my healing."

An example could be:

• You notice feelings of loneliness creeping in during a quiet evening.

• Instead of isolating yourself completely or distracting yourself harshly, you allow yourself to feel the loneliness.

• Then, you decide to call a friend or engage in a comforting hobby.

• This balance of acceptance and action is psychological flexibility in motion.

  
  

This approach helps you avoid getting trapped in rigid patterns of avoidance or overwhelm. It encourages a compassionate stance toward your grief, allowing you to move through it with more ease.

How to Practice in Daily Life

Here are some exercises you can try:

1. Observe Your Thoughts Without Judgment

   When a difficult thought arises, notice it as if it were a cloud passing in the sky. You don’t have to engage or fight it. Simply observe and let it drift away.

   
   

2. Name Your Emotions

   Labeling your feelings can reduce their intensity. Try saying, “I am feeling sadness,” or “I notice anxiety in my chest.” This simple act creates space between you and the emotion.

   
   

3. Connect with Your Values

   Reflect on what matters most to you; love, kindness, connection, or growth. Use these values as a compass to guide your actions, even when grief feels heavy.

   
   

4. Practice Willingness

   Trust yourself and be willing to walk in your unique natural grief response to loss. Instead of resisting it, allow yourself to be curious about it, knowing it will evolve over time.

   
   

5. Engage in Committed Action

   Take small steps toward activities that align with your values, such as volunteering, creative expression, or spending time in nature.

   
   

By regularly practicing these exercises, you build resilience and create a more flexible mindset that can adapt to the challenges grief brings.

A journal and pen symbolizing reflection and emotional expression

As you move through the shifting spaces of grief, remember that moments of sadness, confusion, and even joy can coexist. These experiences are not signs of setback or progress—they are natural responses within an ongoing, evolving process. Grief does not follow a straight path, and there is no “right” way to feel in any given moment. What matters is allowing yourself the flexibility to meet each grief space with honesty and compassion.

Over time, many people find they are not leaving grief behind, but learning how to live alongside it in ways that feel more integrated and steady. This is what transcendence can look like: not the absence of pain, but the ability to carry love, memory, and meaning forward while continuing to engage fully with life.

You do not have to navigate this landscape alone. With support, patience, and care, it is possible to bloom beyond grief; honoring what has been lost while discovering new strength, depth, and connection within yourself..